


My Lovenote Has Gone Flat

by tragicivn



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Leathermouth - Freeform, M/M, NB, Nonbinary, Nonbinary Character, Other, Trans, Trans Frank Iero, Transgender, ill tag more later, leathermouth frank iero, nb!gerard, trans!frank, transgender character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-29
Updated: 2016-11-29
Packaged: 2018-09-02 23:43:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8688184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tragicivn/pseuds/tragicivn
Summary: Frank is in leathermouth, and Gerard is his best friend. They follow all his tours, and what if their secret comes out, what if Frank finds out they have a crush on him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> anyway ive wanted to write a successful trans frank fic for so long, pls support this.....

Frank sighed, and strummed his guitar once more before setting it down. Usually it didn't take him much to put chords together into a song, but this particular song was testing his patience. He had been working on it for weeks, but no two chords sounded right together.

 

He gave up, after an unsuccessful hour, and stood up. He decided he would shower. He would take the rest of the night to sleep, he wanted to have a whole album to produce by the end of the year, and it was october already. He would be twenty, and still was nowhere with his music, he was losing his mind over it. He was tired of working the same stupid job and making almost nothing from his Bandcamp. He just wanted to make music for people to enjoy, but that wouldn’t happen if things kept going the way they were. He wasn’t worried about making it big, what he was more worried about was being somewhere, having people who wanted to hear what he had to say, someone listen to his music and to be inspired by it.

 

He was disappointed in himself, but it didn’t matter. He was going to keep trying, he already had one album out, but maybe that wasn’t what people wanted to hear, so he was going for another sound. He walked to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. He looked at the features that stared at him back. His green, almond shaped eyes. His face shape, his chin and jawline pointing out to him most. His nose, along with the little indent from picking at zits. He never had bad acne as a teen, it really only showed up around last year. He hated pimples, and picked at them almost immediately after they popped up. He noticed the hairs above his lip. It was patchy, what you would expect a 20 year-old’s mustache to look like. 

 

He inspected the width of his shoulders, they were getting wider with time. He liked that, he liked having broad shoulders. He put his hands to his cheeks and looked in the mirror, something he did a lot after a long stressful day of work and playing guitar. He felt his hands touch his own face gently, and he saw it. When he was satisfied with the sensation, he turned on the shower water and stripped. He looked down at his chest, after removing his binder. He hated his chest. He didn’t look at himself in the mirror naked, and he tried to ignore his body, something he hid from himself and everyone else. Thinking about how that was a part of him made him feel physically sick.

 

He finally stepped in the shower when he decided it was the perfect temperature. He leaned against the wall and sighed, it was hot and the water burned his skin, but he needed the shower, he was overdue for one anyways. He wasn’t the best person at keeping up with showering. He didn’t really have the time for it between writing music, working, and sleeping. He hardly even had time to eat.

 

Once the shower was over he hurried to his room, where he was comfortable. He didn’t turn on the light, he just used the dim light from his phone to inspect the floor and make sure he wasn’t tripping over anything. He made it to the bed and laid down. He closed his eyes for a second before looking at his phone. He had a new message from Gerard, he read it and smiled. He loved Gerard with his whole heart, they were really sweet and understanding to him.

 

Frank talked to Gerard for a little while, he didn’t mention that he was dysphoric and unhappy with everything right now. He thought he could save that information for later, and just let Gerard have the good day they were having already. They talked about how college was going, they really enjoyed their classes, and their peers were all pretty nice. They said art school was a good decision, and how they never thought they’d go to college since it cost so much money and their family wasn’t very rich.

 

Frank was happy for Gerard, that was his best friend. He knew Gerard would be happy, they were an amazing artist. That’s how they met, through Gerard’s art blog. After looking through their art for so long, Frank found the courage to talk to them. Their art style was unique to Frank.

 

Frank found himself thinking about how nice it was when Gerard found his music and complimented him on it. It was one of the most important days of his life. Someone he was close to actually liked his music. That’s all he wanted, he wanted love and support from family and friends.

 

Family hated his music, though. They thought it was too rough, and the vocals were ugly. That hurt frank, he tried his best on his music, it wasn’t easy to please people with music, his mom was the one who was particularly not happy about his music. His dad just didn’t want him to be a failed musician. With as much as he raised Frank into music, he would assume his father should know that he would want to pursue it.

 

Anyway, music helped him through the hardest part of his life. He was diagnosed with mental illnesses that were said to never be cured. He knew he would have to either live through it or commit suicide like the statistics of people with this disorder were said to do. Those seemed like his only two options. He was almost twenty years into his life, he was conceived twenty years ago at least. He wondered if his mother wanted him. He wondered if his father wanted to stay. He sighed and said goodnight to Gerard, and that he was falling asleep, but that wasn’t true, he wouldn’t be able to sleep, he was stressed out and thinking a lot. He wished Gerard could be there right then rather than miles away.

 

There were worse cases, some people’s best friends were states apart, but when neither of you have a car or much money, it’s hard to get to each other. Gerard wouldn’t be up for walking that far at ten o’clock at night anyway. Frank just rolled over in his bed and closed his eyes. He wished for sleep more than anything. He needed it. He needed rest in order to come up with new music and to keep his fans around. He had an okay following for Pencey Prep, his first band, and he was okay with that, he was only playing small gigs for now, and he liked that. He liked the experience of a small show, it felt more personal and like the fans were all looking at you. None of them know your music unless they found one of your albums and picked it up. It’s not like anyone really looked for Pencey Prep to tour.

 

What he wanted was a band that would get a good following who wanted things. Who were waiting for his music, and merchandise they could go out and buy. He wasn’t a cocky guy, he just wanted people to be into what his talent was, and that was music. Really, he thought he was a good poet, but that wouldn’t get anywhere unless he was spectacular and able to get that out there, and plus how boring would it be to be known as the poet of the family.

 

He sat up in bed, it hadn’t been long since he had laid down, maybe forty-five minutes, but he was thirsty. He stood and walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water. He filled it and drank about half of it in a couple gulps before heading back to his bed. He set the cup down on his night stand and took another shot at falling asleep, this time it didn’t take him too long to actually slip into a dream.

 

Frank woke up with a jump, he looked around and saw no one, but heard a few loud knocks at his door. Who the fuck is here this early? He stood up and stumbled to his bedroom door, he rubbed at his eyes and walked to the front door to the apartment.

 

When he opened the door, he was surprised to see Gerard, they didn’t say anything about stopping by. He yawned, “Gerard? What are you doing, it’s so early.”

 

“Dude it’s almost one in the afternoon. You slept the morning away.”

 

Today would be a long day, Frank knew it, and he was still so groggy. “Uh, fuck dude, just come in and sit on the couch, I’ll be ready in like ten minutes.”

 

Gerard nodded and walked in, Frank turned and walked to the bathroom. He picked up his binder, which he left on the bathroom floor the night previous. He put it on and adjusted himself into it. He splashed some water into his face and ran his fingers through his shaggy hair. He never really fixed it, he just kept his bed-head. 

 

He went into his room and flipped through his closet. It took a few shirts, but he settled on his handwritten “i am a monster” t shirt, which was thrown on the floor and dirty, but he didn’t care. It was a gig at some small place. He slid into his black jeans and met Gerard out in the living room. He grabbed his jacket from the doorknob of his room and slid it on, knowing that it was reaching the middle of fall, and it would be cold.

 

“Ready to go?” They asked, standing up. 

 

“Yeah,” Frank walked to the kitchen and found a packaged muffin. “Want one?”

 

“Sure,” Gerard said, and walked towards the door. Frank met them at the door and shut it behind them. He was greeted by the sun, but it was cold. The mix of the two feelings was a strange feeling. He got to the car, and noticed that it was his friend and band mate, James Dewees. He got in the back, and Rob Hughes, his guitarist. Gerard didn’t tell him that they were the ones picking him up, but to be fair he didn’t ask. 

 

All he really knew was it would take a long ride to get to the show, and he was fine with that. He always enjoyed long car rides, especially before a show so he could gather himself. He needed it for this show, this show was important to him, possibly the most important show he’s ever played.


End file.
